Your Attitude Is Killing Your Future
In 2015, I was diagnosed with diabetes.
Diabetes
There are millions of people living with diabetes. Many have Type I diabetes like me (where the body does not produce insulin). It cannot be controlled with diet and exercise like Type II, but it is still impacted by food and activity.
Upfront, there were a lot of emotions and grief because this was the first time in my life that I experienced something directly that would never go away. The real struggle, however, came a few years later when I started taking mealtime insulin for the first time. It was at that time that I started having high sugar levels followed by low sugar levels and the pain, fatigue, and frustration became very real.
Team Dynamic
In my business, I have a team of 11 people who all look to me to be the example, and it was not uncommon to hear rumblings about “Roy’s sugar must be off again…” I heard it, and I ignored it, because they were right. My levels were off and I initially thought, how great a team I have that they understand what I’m going through.
If you were to ask my team, what was it like working with me during those year, I would guess most of them would say something like, “He dealt with the circumstances he was given and some days he was fine and some days he really struggled…”
In August of 2018, I left for a conference on leadership and to be certified as a John Maxwell Team member. After going I was made unbelievably aware of my own part in my story. It wasn’t said directly, but as I was reflecting on my experience at the event and the people I was surrounded by, all trying to make themselves better, I realized something.
Awakening
I realized that I was not only negatively impacting my team and showing that it’s ok to wear your emotions on your sleeve, but I was also ignoring my responsibility to inspire, motivate, and build up my team. It was a double edge sword and I was wielding it with precision. I was cutting down my team and stepping on them after they were down without even realizing it!
I recently heard a cancer patient say, “You cannot control circumstances, but you can control how you respond to them.” This was said by Judi. A thyroid cancer patient who has had 26 tumors removed from her body. Talk about someone who knows about circumstances being terrible. But, as she implies, it doesn’t matter what your experience, you always have a choice on how you respond. And some days those responses are easier than others for sure!
“Feelings are experienced. Attitudes are chosen” -Roy
So how can you get the future that you want? There are three things that can help get you on the right track. Each one takes a little thought and reflection, but can have major benefits to building the future you’ve always wanted.
Change Your Paradigm
In order to reach your maximum potential, you need to, as Steven Covey says, change your paradigm. A paradigm is simply your perspective. As we become aware of things, like how our attitude affects every aspect of our life, we can then control how we respond to them. How, you may ask?
John C. Maxwell says that “The average person wants to wait for someone else to motivate him. He perceives that his circumstances are responsible for the way he thinks.”
But if that were always true, then I would have no hope but to be a tired and cranky diabetic for the rest of my life, and Judi would be hopelessly waiting for the next tumor to pop up in her body and would have every right to be mean to people because she didn’t choose to have cancer. But that is not true at all!
The truth is, that the very first step is realizing that your circumstances do not define your attitude. You get to choose how to will live each day, a slave to your circumstances or the owner of your future.
Choose Your Outcome
Jack Canfield, author of The Success Principles tells of the formula to help you create success in your life. It goes like this:
E + R = O (Events + Responses = Outcome)
As he says it, “Successful people take a different approach to events. They simply change their responses (R) to the events (E) until they get the outcomes (O) they want.”
In case that isn’t clear, what he is saying is that if you know something to be true, you can anticipate that it will happen. Since you know it will happen, you can choose how you will respond before it happens. And therefore you can choose your own outcome to the events that occur in your life.
Response
Image a road trip. You are bound to experience bad drivers, heavy traffic, or someone that is just making you a little nuts on the drive. In those moments, when we haven’t thought about how to respond to those situations we may have the tendency to wave hello with one finger and continue our drive a little more stressed and a lot more angry than when we started.
Now, think about that same drive and image how you would prefer to respond. I’m guessing the one finger wave isn’t making anyone have a better day (including yourself)… So how do you, personally, want to respond to that situation?
Thinking about this response and preparing for it now means that when you are in traffic and stresses are about to get high, you can remember your ideal response and follow it. As a result, you have changed your outcome. Instead of being stressed out and giving in to your emotions, you can respond the way you wanted and have the outcome of less stress and anger during your drive.
Event = Traffic
Response = What you prefer to do in the stressful moments of driving
Outcome = Feeling better about your drive and less stressed
Remember Others
As I mentioned before, my attitude was killing my teams motivation. But an even scarier reality is what John C. Maxwell calls the Law of Magnetism. In his book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership Maxwell describes the Law of Magnetism as “Who you are is who you attract.”
Who do you want to be surrounded by? People who love life and choose an attitude of gratitude and joy, or the opposite? For me, I don’t want to be surrounded by negative people who complain about everything that is going wrong and have low energy and low self esteem. That is cancerous and will devour you. So, if I want to be around people who love life and choose joy and positivity then I need to be positive and joyous despite my circumstances. Despite my disease.
And, as a bonus, the more you show this behavior the more you can positively affect those around you!
I will leave you with 3 things to help you get started choosing the right attitude today.
Let’s work together to help each other stay motivated. Comment below and tell me your why, or connect with me on social and tell me what you are doing today to stay motivated! Let’s keep growing together to be better than we were yesterday!
1. Reflect
First, take some time to think about what attitude you have been choosing each day. Right or wrong, there is no judgement here. Apply the E+R=O equation and ask how you have been responding to your circumstances (or events) in your life. Or if you’re anything like me you have probably been reacting to situations and not well.
Be honest with yourself, have you been letting the circumstances drive your attitude, or have you consciously been taking part in the attitude choice each day?
2. Feed Your Positivity
If you aren’t doing this already, start feeding yourself positive, motivational materials. Surround yourself with positive people. Listen to or watch motivational videos. Read motivational stories and quotes. Do what you can to provide a healthy diet of positivity in your daily routine.
3. Remind Yourself Regularly
Why are you trying to be positive? What do you hope to achieve: a happier life, better friends, less stress? Whatever your reason hang picture or write a note on your mirror and remind yourself daily of your why. This will help you on those long cold days when it is easier to crawl back into the habit of your former self. Don’t give in even when it’s hard, because remember you now know that you have a choice on how you pick your attitude every day in every way.
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